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I Cried Yesterday.

Sometimes as a young man with great passion, ideas, and potential - life can scare you. Often times, as an influential individual you can take your position too serious. Having the ability to inspire hundreds, or thousands, maybe even millions of people can be exciting yet overwhelming. We look up to people because of their attributes but often times ignore their disadvantages. Therefore, we have idolize and aspire to be like those individuals based off on our perspective of them; for example major pastors, celebrity performers and many other. Then when we get in their position, we ignorantly criticize them for their error, with no idea how much time, money, effort, labor and energy is requires to maintain the assets that makes us attracted to them.

There are moments in my life where I'm overly focus is on being the Man of God - God has created me to be. Unfortunately, I forget that I'm already created. Which means, I am already the Man of God I'm created to be, so why try to be something you automatically are. A car doesn't need the validation of a garage in order to confess or believe that it is a car. However, as humans we search for the validation of those people or things that could affirm who we are, who we think we are, or who we desire to be - and that is my issue. Yesterday, I was a victim of my own irresponsible actions. Yes, I could blame this person or that things and even justify myself for allowing this to happen. But I won't, because ignoring the truth won't produce growth in my life, it only produces more neglect and mismanagement. So the only way to make it work for my good and yours - is to talk about it.

As a young leaders, we can fall victim to living for the people, but neglect living for ourselves or for what God intended for us. For example, (John 4:4) Jesus was so focus on fulfilling the mission of God that when is disciples came to fed with bread and meat, Jesus refused to eat. Afterwards he turned to them and said "my meat, my food, my daily supply comes from me doing the will of who send me." Now I don't believe it was done out of arrogance not foolishness. I believe Jesus was so mature, spiritually that he didn't limit is strengthen or ability to the eating process. This man priorities we're so focused on fulfilling the mission he neglect his natural health. Now to some person, that is just pure stupidity, but I believe it is truly epic.

On yesterday, I had my car repossessed. Now, i bet you're thinking "how in the world does this international big time prophet get his car repossessed?" Some of you may even be laughing. After the first hour or so, when I finally calmed down I was laughing too. Because I have a $175 car note. Which isn't a lot at all. Nonetheless, my car got temporarily taken. Immediately, when it happened, I was in distress - worrying about the rest of my day, how my weekend was going to go since I am without my car; and so many other crazy thoughts rushed mind. Like I said, it was only $175, which I actually had in my bank account. However, over the weekend, I lost my personal debit card. Therefore I had no access to my money until I receive my new card. within 3-7 business day. Nevertheless, when the services man told me he took my car - I huffed and buffed, cried, screamed and nothing happened. I called my car financier to see what the issue was and they told me I was 10 days past due on my $175 car note. I apologized and told the lady - I can send the money to you right now. She asked was my car already collected. I said yes, then she proceeds to tell me, because they had to pick it up there is an additional $400 surcharge. That's when I broke down. While I'm out here trying to change the world and help everybody, i ignorantly neglected my car payment. Not Prioritizing.

My obsession with being the Man of God, caused me to forget - I am still a man. Trying to take care of the affairs, responsibilities and obligations for other men, somewhat distracted me from my obligations. Listen, I beat myself up about it for hours. Like how stupid could I be. Now, just a minor background story, something similar to this happened before. When I first started my ministry, I had no car at all. And all the money earned would go toy cell phone bill and eating. However, I kept running into the issue of not have enough money. Back then, about a year or two ago when I started this ministry, all I wanted to do was help and inspire people by giving them a glimpse into their own beautiful, futuristic life. Subsequently, all the prophesying I was doing, wasn't bring in enough givers or money to help me survive. So I would go hungry or my phone would be off for weeks because I would rather help other than help myself. Often times, as a vessels of God, we can get so caught up doing ministry and doing for others that i forget to take care of myself. Which is why armour bearers/ personal assistant or other ministry members should do as much as they can for the Servant Of God as they can. We never know what is takes for them to continue to help us and others.

Listen, my incident was completely stupid. My neglect, irresponsibility, and lack of prioritization cause me to have to pay $600 to get my car back, when all I had to do was remember to give $175 to my lean-holder. Sounds crazy right? i had one job to do (not including everything else i can to do) and i couldn't remember to do what was most important. Which was pay my car note, because without transportation, how can i continue to do what i need to ensure the ministry operates.. Just like being absent from God, it's hard to operate. Well here is where the inspiration comes it, because like I said I was pissed for the first hour or so; then I calmed down to talk to my mom, who led me to pray. While praying the Holy Spirit reminded me of a story in the Bible. Jesus and Lazarus.

"Two sister sent word to Jesus; the know miracle-man, and said 'Jesus our brother, who you love so much is sick until death. If you don't come he will surely die. Jesus replied by saying 'this sickness will not end in death. No, it's is for God's glory so that God's son may be glorified through it.' After that Jesus decided to stay in Jerusalem couple more days. After day two, Jesus says to his disciples 'Lazarus, our brother has died. Let's go back to Judea. Upon arriving there one of the sisters met Jesus half way and said "If would've been here he wouldn't have died.' So basically, the sister said 'if you were truly focused, you would've prioritized and been here to live his life.' (ain't it funny how people who aren't qualified to solve the problem always got a solution or diagnosis.) So Jesus says "Your brother will arise again." In the midst of having a conversation with Martha, she begins to cry. Then Jesus ask to be taken to his tomb and after being shown where Lazarus was bandaged and buried -Jesus wept. Or in other words Jesus cries too. Jewish people around Jesus seen him crying and realized how much he loved Lazarus but questioned his motive and heart but saying "surely could not He who opened the eyes of the blind have kept this man from dying?" Then tell Bible says "Jesus, once more deeply moved, came to the tomb to call Lazarus out.

Look, long story made short. Before I was afflicted I went astray, But many are the afflictions of the righteous and All things are working for your good. I felt stupid, foolish, irresponsible and all the above, because I was so focused on making money to make sure the ministry had funds to operate that I neglect holding down my personal responsibilities to ensure that I am able to operate. Jesus was a victim of not being fully aware or prioritizing - however they problem you create, God has give you the power to solve that He made be glorified through it. I was so busy sharing other folks testimony. I forgot ho good he had been to me. Therefore, he allowed this incident to make me cry in order to deeply move me causing me to remember the small things. For example, Never get so distracted by being you, that you forget to be yourself. i could've blame my missing card, i could blame my lack of finances prior to this event, or i could even blame my car's lean-holder. but i didn't and i won't. I blame me, because there are times in life when we forget just how much of God - God really is. Sometimes, we have to experience a bad moment to have a God moment. Ask Job.

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